The Suicide Queen

The Suicide Queen

(In the style of Maralyn Lois Polak’s The Tragedy Queen)

Epigram-Ain’t no victims, only volunteers-Richard Tubbs of

“Miami Vice”

 

  1. The suicide queen

has another new lover

she tells me alllll about him

his strengths, his insights,

his art, his work,

and every other meandering thing,

but the size of his underwear.

And he makes her strong

he makes her strong

but when he leaves

when he leaves

there’s nothing left

but the morning

but the mourning

she eyes the knife

and calls me a gain.

 

  1. The suicide queen

has always been in therapy.

Now,

she is getting better,

no more ledges.

They give her those pills weekly

and she thinks

she might be able to work

in a year or two,

though she’s never worked

more than three months at any one job

since she’s been a visitor on this planet

and if she could have $5.00

it will surely be enough

un til her

next

monthly

check.

 

  1. The suicide queen

has found a new religion

outer peace

inner thin.

She is now a whole person,

tranquil and calm,

able to deal with all the twists and turns of life,

as long as she

never

leaves

her

house.

 

4)The suicide queen

has stopped drinking

            drugs

and men

and wo men

she will now devote

therestofherlife

to her art,

none of which

she has ever sold,

none of which

anyone understands,

for there is nothing to understand

(but we love the suicide queen.

We tell her it’s wonderful.).

 

Later that night,

we meet at the same bar,

and she asks

me

where

her new joy friend

and her

can cop like some

heavy

weed

man.

I buy her a glass of wine

and go back

to looking out windows,

where there are truly

                 only

                 walls.

 

5)-The suicide queen

feels old one

day, noone

seems to care,

anymore, that

sensitive she

needs help

needs friends

needs support.

Seeking a re-affirmation

of her current market worth,

she takes her week’s supply

of pretty pink pills,

brings out the bourbon,

and gets on the horn.

One hundred and twenty seven phone calls later,

she gets to me.

I promise to come.

 

6) I am so tired

of all male and fe male and im paled suicide queens,

I cannot go

to one more

need

a

gain.

One would hope,


then,

she’s merely

still

waiting.

10/30/85 then revised 6-29-86

About bobsmall1

Bob Small has read at Bacchanal, Barnes and Noble, Borders, The Booksource (Swarthmore), The Clark Park Festivals,Community College of Philadelphia Highwire Gallery, The Mad Poets Annual Food Fest Reading, The Middle East Restaurant, Nexus GalleryThe Painted Bride Arts Center, The Philadelphia Ethical Society, Robin's Bookstore The University of Pennsylvania and also in New York City, Trenton, NJ, Washington, DC, and in many Delaware Valley Venues. He is the author of numerous chapbooks, including El Otro Lado (with Maralyn Lois Polak), On watching America Die, Small Steps and Toes (with Lamont B. Steptoe), and The Unapoet. This is his first Reading in over a year. Bob Small was Founder and President of the two decades old Poets and Prophets, which presented Poetry Readings in both Delaware County and Philadelphia. Bob was the Chair of The Delaware County Green Party and was the First Green Party Candidate in Delaware County (2005). He was also a Green Party National Delegate, among other duties. He is the Founder and Facilitator of The Pennsylvania Ballot Access Coalition (PaBac), which is a Coalition of both Independents and Third Parties., seeking to legislatively improve Pennsylvania's Ballot Access Laws. (Facebook) Bob is also a founding member and Facilitator of Democracy Unplugged, and Delco Debates, which has presented Independent and Third Party Forums in Delaware County since 2004. Facebook) He was formerly involved with Cinema Resistance, and Delco Pledge of Resistance. Bob currently lives in Swarthmore with his wife and their menagerie of animals. He is currently focused on writing a Novel and organizing his Poetry, which he posts on his Blog (Bob Small1). He is retired from most of the above activities, except Delco Debates and Poets and Prophets, which he may return to.
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