Marty

Just returned from another High School reunion.
I went up to his photo and said…nothing
just decided to repost this

____________________________
Mostly, I don’t want to remember
Mostly, I know his pain never left
Mostly, it was guys like him who left their
souls in Southeast Asia
with bits and pieces of themselves
I wanted to
call him sooner than I did
I wanted to
call him but kept seeing the
gun in his trunk

_________________
A lot of our lives
are filled up with
I wanted to
We saw each other a previous
High School Reunion
 October two oh oh seven
seven continents away
and until he showed me that he
always carried a gun with him…
I e-mailed him but the phone was
wayyy too heavy
I didn’t want him that close

2) Pre High school
he introduced me to
women, cigs and booze
found out later
he thought we’d go “Nam”together
that would, my mother thought,
straighten me out
no, it would of just bent me further
Marty thought we’d enlist together
never listening to my anti-war self
By then, High school in the 1960’s times,
our tastes had gone different places,
he drank and….other drugs
found a woman who would not wait for him
didn’t know, didn’t know
can still recall
Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons that night
Toy Soldier
I’m still mad that I was the gonif who told him
that she hadn’t been waiting
and if her stomach was big now
it maybe wasn’t his now

Meanwhile, I heard Tommy Rock Opera
the same weekend I had my first tab
found that whole part of my life
women and drugs and peace and luv L U V
I should leave that to fight for a war
I was part of the screaming against!!!

_________________________

3) A few years ago we reconnected
I’m always wary about
people I used to know
I’ve changed my life
five and Doctor Who fifteen times since then
I might have a
completely new face
and you just might not like it
‘cause you grew up with one
of the older versions

But we were fine
met /twice
that reunion week
I might even have gone to hang out with hin
in Condo Florida
…..but I just have this unreasoning fear
of, even, friends, with guns

His wife, whom I never met,
called to say he would not be returning
my message
and why and what kind of cancer
and I’m still trying to not remember
because we were friends
once
when we were both boys
and one of us grew up way too hard
and for no good reason
and I was just luckier
for the same no good reason

Bob Small 1-22-08 revised from 1-13-08
reviewed and revised  7-3-13 revised 9-15-22