PFA #9 After Visiting an Attempted Suicide

After visiting an attempted suicide

from 6-28-86 from 6-26-86

 

If I would ever take my life

I would know to do it right

and not have silver plastic tubes

protruding

into where and from where

my body

used to be

my body?

it wouldn’t be

my body anymore

it couldn’t be

my body anymore

pocked

like some nation where war

must be fought

No, this would be a body

now owned

by doctors and nurses

kept alive

to show their skills

at this particular

game

 

2 How are we today, Mr. small

Are you feeling any better

knowing

I’d have no more voice means

to give an

swer 

Your parents are coming to see you

and I’d desperately want to scream

NO!!! 

not in this condition

not in this perdition 

not in this suspension

of all but my mind,

which lies here

in hope of a falsely promised resurrection   

Then, of course,

various and divers 

           lovers 

of different persuasions

my last duchess, of course

my first countess, perhaps, after all 

though I was one of her men

it was only for a

briefling 

and various men

who were young and sweet 

back in the day, back in that day

when I was young and fierce

and various and driven women

who knew of being young

but nothing of sweet,

back in the night, that early night

when I was young and sought

sought the hardest way through the night   

There would be a parade of my life

twenty years

of the madnesses and obsessions

even my daughter

might venture in

would realize, then,

it was now too late

to answer

her

questions

a twenty year parade

of madnesses and obsessions

of sadnesses and posessions

and as this damn parade continued

ad in sane um

would noone have the grace

to unplug me

or would it be years of

my silence unwillingly greeting

And how are we today, Mr. Small

About bobsmall1

Bob Small has read at Bacchanal, Barnes and Noble, Borders, The Booksource (Swarthmore), The Clark Park Festivals,Community College of Philadelphia Highwire Gallery, The Mad Poets Annual Food Fest Reading, The Middle East Restaurant, Nexus GalleryThe Painted Bride Arts Center, The Philadelphia Ethical Society, Robin's Bookstore The University of Pennsylvania and also in New York City, Trenton, NJ, Washington, DC, and in many Delaware Valley Venues. He is the author of numerous chapbooks, including El Otro Lado (with Maralyn Lois Polak), On watching America Die, Small Steps and Toes (with Lamont B. Steptoe), and The Unapoet. This is his first Reading in over a year. Bob Small was Founder and President of the two decades old Poets and Prophets, which presented Poetry Readings in both Delaware County and Philadelphia. Bob was the Chair of The Delaware County Green Party and was the First Green Party Candidate in Delaware County (2005). He was also a Green Party National Delegate, among other duties. He is the Founder and Facilitator of The Pennsylvania Ballot Access Coalition (PaBac), which is a Coalition of both Independents and Third Parties., seeking to legislatively improve Pennsylvania's Ballot Access Laws. (Facebook) Bob is also a founding member and Facilitator of Democracy Unplugged, and Delco Debates, which has presented Independent and Third Party Forums in Delaware County since 2004. Facebook) He was formerly involved with Cinema Resistance, and Delco Pledge of Resistance. Bob currently lives in Swarthmore with his wife and their menagerie of animals. He is currently focused on writing a Novel and organizing his Poetry, which he posts on his Blog (Bob Small1). He is retired from most of the above activities, except Delco Debates and Poets and Prophets, which he may return to.
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