Mary asked me to write a second version
and, of course, I did.
There goes another Planet or
First Planet and take a right
Mother Earth rethinks her role in life
(Possibly a recording of Time after Time by
Cindy Lauper could be playing in the bakground.
We all have guilty pleasures.)
Dr. Maxine *
The setting could include a couch
(for Mother Earth) and a chair for Dr. Maxine
There could be a table between them.
ME could be in a long flowing maybe green robe, or not.
DM should be professional looking
ME Thank you for finding the time to see me. I-
DM Of course, of course. We understand how busy you are keeping the earth vegetated and fertile and rotating and-
ME That’s just the problem. I’m mother to a planet where I’m
mostly disrespected! The animals know how to treat their habitats but the humons** well, it’s like having children who never listen, no matter how you try to tell them show them-
DM Could you give me some examples?
ME Some of these, well one example, call them the MotherFrackers,
destroying my beautiful mountains for a few ounces of energy. As the country song goes, What were they thinking?
DM Have you tried to show them the mistakes they are making?
ME First I tried to show them by raising temperatures but, as Don Imus would say, some of them are just not the sharpest knives in the drawer. Now we have Polar bears running out of ice, temperature variations that have never happened before, incidents of-
DM Well, children have to learn by their mistakes and-
ME ( sitting up) How can I remain Mother Earth if there’s no Earth!
Mother Pluto or Mother Mars just doesn’t have the same ring.
And that means the end of Doctor Who, which I would hate to be
the cause of!
DM Now, let’s look at this. You’re defining your self by your children, by your job. Maybe it’s time to redefine, to downsize.
Have you ever thought about becoming oh say Mother Moon.
It would take years to repopulate but you have plenty of eons..
ME I’ve become rather fond of the earth and all it’s various climates, the Himalayas, Hawaii, the Alps, the Adirondacks,Alaska (though not their Governors), The Indian Ocean, the Atlantic, the Pacific, even the deserts, and I do hate that they call it Death Valley, there’s life there, just different life… were all that to go, even if Earth remained but every place on earth had the same climate, I just don’t know that I would have any interest in it. I just don’t know.
DM Let’s try another thought. If you were a humon mother and had a child that you really wanted to do something useful and artistic, say being a Poet, and he decided to be a ProfessionalFootball player, wouldn’t you still love him?
ME Yes, but isn’t that wasting your birthright, your potential?
DM Or is that a child finding their own direction, no matter how misguided you think it is. Maybe the majority of Earthlings
don’t really care if everyplace looks the same, no Hawaii, no Himalayas, if it all looks like Brooklyn. There’s something to be said for uniformity.
ME If that happens, what am I supposed to do, who am I supposed to care for, what is my role.
DM We’ll discuss that next week. For your homework, bring
three potential careers you might want to begin, activities you always wanted to do, but were too busy.
ME So I should just let go?
DM Earthlings are who they are. If planet maintenance isn’t that important to them, it shouldn’t be to you.
* named for Max, a character from Black Sails
another guilty pelasure
** what the Ferengi, in Deep Space Nine, called humans